Twilight 3c

(Note: Read Twilight 3a and 3b before you read this one.)

"Dear Twilight fangirls,
Esther has told me of her concern regarding certain groups of girls trying to convince her that Edward Cullen is the epitome of the romantic gentleman. While I myself have formulated a number of reasons (both logical and ethical, as well as pathological) to dissent such a premise, you will excuse me for sticking to the matter at hand.
It is evident that her opinions of what makes the perfect gentleman differ greatly from your own. And; being the age that we are, having that inherent inexperience in the ways of romantic love; it is useless to debate upon such matters with other people your age, especially those who have found love and are in a long-lasting, satisfying, healthy relationship. I recommend you cease attempting to force your opinions on those who have good reason to disagree with them. In the end, all you will become is an irritation.
Esther's main reason for not converting to your legion of idolatry is simple. She does not believe, nor does she have cause to believe, that Edward Cullen exemplifies any of the traits she finds to be ideal. This reason for disagreeing with your manifestations of vampiric worship is deeply important to her, as it is rooted in her firmest and most personal beliefs which, among other existentially wholesome things, have greatly to do with her testimony of the Gospel. I understand if you may not have noticed this as you were attempting to turn her into one of the millions of screaming Ed-crazies, but you are being extremely disrespectful of her most sacred religious beliefs. I implore you to stop at once.

With the deepest will for you to open your hearts to understanding,
Esther's significant other

(That one guy.)

(Yeah. Him.)"

Or something like that. (I don't have a copy of the letter...if I can get one, I'll fix it.)
I typed it all up, printed it out, and handed it to Esther. I smiled as she read it to herself. When she was done, she handed it back to me.
"Think it'll work?" I asked.
She opened her mouth as if to say yes, but instead said "Nope."
"Well, I admit, some of the vocabulary may be a bit beyond their level--"
"A bit?"
"Okay, you've got a point. But, see, that's why I made sure they could understand the most important part of it."
"Which part is that?"
"The one about your testimony. I mean, there's no way they would even dare utter his name in your presence if that's the case!"
"What makes you think that will make them stop?"
"Well, it's our sub-culture, isn't it? If you so much as suggest that their conduct is working against God, they would immediately back off. The young women in our society hold the Gospel in an honor so high, they're simply too scared to continue on doing something that would be considered unholy."
"Still, I don't think this will help. In fact, they'd probably just be more annoying."
"We'll see what happens."

This was all on Saturday. Let's fast forward to Wednesday.
Up until this point, Esther had not been confronted by a single fangirl--fancy that! But the one that finally spoke up about our favorite one-dimensional pedophile proved to be the most abject human being I have ever before conversed with. I mean, I've dealt with some pretty irrational twits, but this one has got to be the twittiest. And physically abusive.
It became evident that in writing the letter, I made one failed assumption: That the intended recipient(s) would have any sense of logic or reasoning.
To tell me of the troubling incident, Esther contacted me through instant messaging. Here's a log of the conversation (I'm Henroshi):

(04:36:42 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: Greetings
(04:36:49 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: ello
(04:36:57 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: thanks to you I am now bruised
(04:37:04 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: ?
(04:37:12 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: read the emails
(04:38:08 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: That reaction makes no sense
(04:38:31 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: well she's glaring at the screen right now
(04:38:46 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: Um...say what?
(04:38:54 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: she
(04:38:55 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: is
(04:38:57 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: staring
(04:38:58 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: at
(04:39:00 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: the
(04:39:02 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: screen
(04:39:03 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: right
(04:39:04 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: now
(04:39:10 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: !
(04:39:19 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: I know what you said
(04:39:33 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: then why did you ask for me to repeat myself?
(04:39:43 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: thats what makes non sense
(04:39:51 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: I was expecting clarification
(04:39:56 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: Not repetition
(04:40:06 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: what do you need clarified?
(04:40:11 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: she's about to eat me!
(04:40:20 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: Why is she in your house?
(04:40:30 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: We have to do a school thing together
(04:41:02 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: although we're not doing much right now
(04:41:06 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: ...
(04:41:10 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: ...Did she even read the letter?
(04:41:14 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: yesh
(04:41:18 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: And comprehended it?
(04:41:35 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: Because of that question she kicked me
(04:41:48 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: Did she comprehend it or not?
(04:43:42 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: D=
(04:43:59 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: Tell her to stop using violence as a means of enforcing her beliefs.
(04:44:17 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: She can't help it
(04:44:41 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: What do you mean she can't?
(04:44:50 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: She...just...can't?
(04:45:25 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: I believe there was something in gospel principles called "bridling your passions".
(04:45:46 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: *she stares blankly*
(04:46:11 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: *and slaps me*
(04:46:48 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: and atacks the keyboard
(04:46:50 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: This is ridiculous
(04:47:00 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: oh you have NO idea
(04:47:09 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: I have somewhat of an idea
(04:47:09 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: she's also scratching me
(04:48:11 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: Look, whoever you are, stop attacking Esther just because I can provide doctrinal principles that conflict with Twilight/Edward fangirlism.
(04:48:44 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: What is this school project anyway?
(04:49:35 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: "I will not stop attacking her until she agree's with me about Edward!!!(who is hot!!!)" Its for U.S history
(04:50:11 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: So, again, you're using violence to force your opinions on others who have substantial reason to disagree.
(04:50:45 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: You'd make a really good terrorist.
(04:50:46 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: "....YES! And I will not stop! I WILL get my point across!!"
(04:51:11 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: Thanks she just kicked me AGAIN
(04:51:22 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: Do you feel the pain?
(04:51:30 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: I feel a little frustration
(04:52:22 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: Sorry, but if you want to get a point across, you need to use methods of communication that people can understand and abide with. Violence is not one of those methods.
(04:54:00 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: "my method works, believe me. Esther might end up in Iraq in my under ground bunker with all the rest who would not agree with me"
(04:54:26 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: I don't believe you, sorry.
(04:54:55 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: Amanda interjects:" Hey Stephen, buddy boy, wouldn't you say this stupid conversation counts as "bantering teenage girls?""
(04:55:05 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: I meant blathering
(04:55:07 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: oops
(04:55:22 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: I didn't say I was enjoying myself
(04:56:03 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: I'm not enjoying myself either (esther again)
(04:56:40 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: But since "blathering" basically means "empty talk", I would say it counts as a blathering teenage girl talk.
(04:57:34 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: And until I hear a valid reason why Esther should agree with you, you're a blatherer.
(04:59:34 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: "I will send to iraq
(05:00:05 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: Okay, apparently there's some confusion.
(05:00:10 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: Her I ment Here
(05:00:17 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: -+
(05:00:26 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: OW
(05:00:51 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: "I will send her to Iraq, where do you think my third cousin went?"
(05:00:58 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: Because when I said valid reason, I thought it was common knowledge that threats are not regarded as valid reason, let alone empty untrue threats.
(05:01:26 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: Actually with her, they are NOT empty threats
(05:01:47 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: Because she totally has the power to send people to Iraq against their will
(05:02:04 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: heh heh heh
(05:02:08 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: SHE DOES!!!
(05:02:24 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: May I ask who's typing now?
(05:02:32 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: Esther
(05:02:42 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: with a very sore leg
(05:02:43 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: and ears
(05:03:23 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: she's smacking me to hurt you
(05:03:33 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: how does that make you feel??
(05:03:57 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: This takes sticks and stones to a new level of absurdity.
(05:04:40 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt YOU just your girlfriend
(05:05:36 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: I fail to see the point of this barbaric method.
(05:06:18 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: "you wouldn't"
(05:06:33 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: Don't worry, we will now work on the project
(05:06:40 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: *walks away in pain*
(05:07:07 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: Please stop hurting Esther.
(05:07:24 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: ''No!!!!
(05:08:07 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: And why are you hurting her again?
(05:08:39 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: ''Because I can.
(05:09:33 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: That's not an explanation, that's an affirmation.
(05:11:08 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: "I don't know what that means"
(05:12:30 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: An affirmation is a statement or proposition that is declared to be true.
(05:13:48 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: For instance, I can punch a hole in my drywall. Is that a reason for me to punch it? No.
(05:14:10 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: ''Yes!!!"
(05:15:11 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: Say you're standing on the edge of a cliff. You have the ability to jump off. Does that mean you should?
(05:15:38 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: "YES!! if I'm atatched to a bunjee cord!!"
(05:15:51 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: And if you aren't?
(05:16:07 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: "push Esther!!"
(05:16:25 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: "And you!!"
(05:16:26 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: And what is your stance on abortion, exactly?
(05:16:50 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: "its bad!! no good!"
(05:17:49 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: So you think that just because a mother can kill an unborn child, doesn't mean they should.
(05:18:14 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: ''Yes!!!!"
(05:18:43 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: Then I'll repeat the question: Why are you hurting Esther?
(05:19:24 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: "She is not a unborn child!!!!"
(05:19:49 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: That's not an answer.
(05:20:58 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: "Yes it is I dont care what you say!!!!"
(05:21:36 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: Do you approve of murder?
(05:22:16 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: "YES if it is Esther!!!!!"
(05:22:33 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: (Esther) D=
(05:23:02 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: So you approve the murder of a daughter of our Heavenly Father.
(05:24:54 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: "She is not is not a daughter, she is a pet + I'm not mormon"
(05:26:16 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: So basically, you believe human life can be forfeit if a person disagrees with you.
(05:27:13 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: "YES!!"
(05:27:22 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: You know what, so did Joseph Stalin.
(05:27:33 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: "You said it yourself, I would make a great terrorist"
(05:27:42 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: "WHO IS DAT??"
(05:28:28 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: Stalin is thought to be the most psychologically unsound murderous iron fist dictator in history.
(05:28:50 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: Esther: TT.TT when will this end??
(05:30:38 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: And yes, you would make a good terrorist, with such a mentality. You have just the right irrational tendencies and failure to submit to empirical logic that is fit for mindless animals.
(05:31:40 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: -_- Stephen! that was mean!
(05:34:13 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: I do not know where in your mind you see it fit to dispose of this great gift we as humans have all been given - intellect - and choose to live a life of blind idolatry, rejecting all forms of ethics and logic.
(05:35:28 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: Stephen...are you mad...? I'm ok! besides the unneeded slaping
(05:35:37 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: D:D
(05:37:33 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: So
(05:37:45 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: what kind of homework are YOU doing
(05:39:07 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: We as humans have the unique privilege of using an exalted form of enlightened reasoning based on morals and logic. And yet, you toss it aside - this thing that no other animal has the mental capacity to even fathom - as if it were a cheap novelty.
(05:41:06 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: Laws, morals, civilization, literature, philosophy, technology - these things are meaningless to you?
(05:41:35 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: "no, Please I love technology I use my computer every day"
(05:41:53 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: How do you think technology came about?
(05:42:17 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: o o O uh...
(05:42:32 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: Did it fall from the sky?
(05:43:44 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: '"She is making me sond Stupids.
(05:43:53 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: Written by her
(05:43:54 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: not me
(05:44:24 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: crud I keep being beaten
(05:44:55 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: Technology originates from ideas, born from this same higher thinking that tell us how to speak, how to read and write, how to love, how to express ourselves, how to reason, and how to treat other people.
(05:47:22 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: By rejecting the most basic moral and logical principles, you are effectively dismissing every single advancement in human technology as a phenomenal heap of garbage.
(05:48:11 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: And yet, you love it--you use it most every day.
(05:48:32 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: "so?"
(05:49:03 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: So how are following the basic principles of morals and logic any different?
(05:49:12 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: "computers don't make one love"
(05:50:13 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: If humans didn't have the capacity to think, all your precious technology would not exist.
(05:50:37 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: Stephen?
(05:51:28 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: You cannot love technology and reject what it entails.
(05:52:59 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: ''YES I can!!!!
(05:53:51 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: So you can like apples, but not fruit?
(05:54:03 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: '
(05:54:17 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: ''Yes!!!
(05:54:23 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: But an apple is a fruit.
(05:55:23 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: "Yes it is But I like fruit!!!!"
(05:56:30 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: I didn't ask if you liked fruit or apples; I asked if it was possible to like apples and not fruit.
(05:57:20 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: Or, let me put it this way. Is it possible to like eating, but not food?
(05:57:28 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: "I hat you!!!
(05:57:47 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: I'm officially ending this squable
(05:57:56 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: *Esther puts her foot down*
(05:59:17 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: "I still hate you, Good bye I hope I never hear of you again. But Esther will probably still talk about you so I will never get away from you in a sense Grrrr"
(05:59:26 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: "I am now leaving"
(05:59:34 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: Why do you hate me?
(05:59:58 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: "because you don't agree with me, remember I AM a future terrorist"
(06:01:01 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: You don't agree with sense or logic.
(06:01:21 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: She slapped me as she left...
(06:01:44 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: All I was trying to do was illustrate a concept using pure reasoning and the Socratic method.
(06:01:52 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: yeah... well
(06:02:01 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: I don't think your point got through
(06:02:10 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: I have to say goodbye to her at the door
(06:02:13 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: so I'll brb
(06:03:09 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: k i is back
(06:03:13 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: but not for long
(06:03:35 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: I have to get off very soon because we are about to eat dinner
(06:03:36 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: Is she going to be coming back at all?
(06:03:41 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: Um....
(06:03:45 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: I dunno actually
(06:03:56 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: That was the OTHER Ashley in the anime club
(06:04:02 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: she is very violent
(06:04:04 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: Well, if she needed to come back tomorrow
(06:04:27 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: you sound like you are starting a threat
(06:04:35 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: No, that's not it
(06:04:58 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: I just think it would probably be better for your personal health if I was there to stop her from hurting you.
(06:05:05 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: heh
(06:05:19 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: yeah...cause my legs REALLY hurt right now
(06:05:33 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: TT.TT
(06:05:46 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: You make it sound like my fault
(06:09:10 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: OK, duly noted: Not submitting to fallacy makes me a bad boyfriend.
(06:10:38 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: Its not your fault!!!
(06:10:52 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: I don't blame you!!
(06:11:02 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: D=
(06:11:12 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: What would you have wanted me to say?
(06:11:16 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: eh?
(06:11:58 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: Because obviously, what I was trying wasn't working
(06:12:03 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: Naw its ok
(06:12:09 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: she would have beaten me anyway
(06:12:13 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: thats just the way she is
(06:12:50 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: I mean
(06:13:14 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: we walk through the hallways of school, I open my mouth *smack smack* its just what she does
(06:13:20 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: but I got to get off now
(06:13:24 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: I did what I thought would be best, honestly...the way I usually try to solve those sorts of problems
(06:13:34 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: *hugz* I know, and its ok
(06:13:42 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: I was worried you were getting mad
(06:13:49 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: I was getting a little frustrated
(06:13:51 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: I was more worried about you then me
(06:13:57 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: Upset is the word I would use
(06:14:02 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: ^_^
(06:14:09 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: But yeah I gotta go
(06:14:11 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?
(06:14:19 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: sure
(06:14:21 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: ^_^
(06:14:22 PM) Henroshi Saitsun: I love you
(06:14:25 PM) Arahi, Vampaia: I loves you too!!

Can I get an "OWNED!"? Anyone? Also, notice how I didn't actually argue about Twilight or Edward. All I did was criticize her mentality. That is a definite "pure ownage" moment right there. And believe me, I've had my share.
So it turns out that today, she didn't actually have to come back to Esther's house. But she will tomorrow, and if I even see a limb fly in Esther's general direction, peace is forfeit. Do understand that up until action must be taken, I will conduct myself in a civil manner.

TO BE CONTINUED...